I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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