make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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