i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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