Will you blow on my dice?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
