PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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