I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Still dying that you shit outside
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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