At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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