I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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