and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
