ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
