Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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