Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
