I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
