Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
