Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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