he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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