i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
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MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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