I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
