Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
