dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Come see our sink grown plant.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
