I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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