i think my tv is drunk
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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