Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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