are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize