for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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