If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize