i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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