playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
