yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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