I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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