We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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