So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize