i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
