Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
