never play flip cup with pint glasses
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
