I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
