Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
