Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize