No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
