I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
