no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
