Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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