Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
