Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize