we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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