dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
