I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
