I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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