Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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