The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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