I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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