I am full of burrito and curiosity
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
