Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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