Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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