Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
