i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
