the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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