I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
