Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Randomize
