ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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