called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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