and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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