I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
